Changing Channels

The new school year also means the arrival of the latest television season. TV is starting to pull away from the 1950s a little more this year. Westerns don’t dominate the schedule like they used to. Most of the cowboy shows are called “adult” westerns, and most of them are an hour long. I think Rawhide is on mainly because people like the theme song, and why anyone would want to watch The Virginian is beyond me. Gunsmoke is still on Saturday nights and I never miss that. Marshall Dillon and the folks in Dodge City are old familiar friends.
My brother likes the Outer Limits. That show creeps me out, especially the beginning where they tell you they’re in control of your TV set, and that loud noise is buzzing in my ears. I go downstairs and watch something else when that’s on. The one time I do decide to stick around and watch it, it has these alien creatures that look like big ants that have human faces. Too weird for me. I don’t know how Carl can sleep after watching stuff like that.
Carl likes this new Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea show too. The actors in it seem phony to me, and the special effects and everything else about it looks cheesy. I’m not going to watch that one either.
Ozzie and Harriet are still on. Can you believe that? Dave and Ricky are all grown up and Ozzie still walks around in a sweater without any visible means of support. I guess he’s retired now, but from what? This year they show mostly re-runs of the older episodes, so it’s not quite as embarrassing as it has been. But why is it still on?
A lot of the older comedians are still on, but Red Skelton and Jack Benny are still funny. Lucy on the other hand, is not, and I don’t see why she’s still on, but for some reason or another she’s still popular. I don’t get it. Watching an old lady throw temper tantrums isn’t funny to me anymore, it’s just stupid.
There are several new shows on that are about people who are different. I like Bewitched. This guy marries a real pretty girl who turns out to be a witch. The only thing that bothers me about this show is that this guy doesn’t want his wife to use her powers. He wants her to be “normal”. Now everybody knows if you were married to somebody who had magical powers, you’d be asking them to do all kinds of neat stuff. TV always has to teach us a moral, like we’re always going to Sunday school or something.
There’s two more shows about people who are “different”. Two families trying to get along in the world even though their lifestyles don’t exactly fit in. They look different from everybody else too. The Munsters and the Addams family are really funny. What it would be like if the Frankenstein monster was living in a small town, or if an alternate world of ghouls and witches and other assorted freaks of nature moved in next door. The Addams family has an edge to them. Gomez and Morticia seem like they could get a kick out of doing something evil, and no one wants to mess with Lurch. I don’t like the actors who play their kids, though, especially that boy who plays Pugsley. He’s just plain awful.
I love the Munsters. Fred Gwynne and Al Lewis were on my favorite show of all time-Car 54, Where Are You?, and they’re great as Herman and Grandpa Munster. Fred Gwynne is all rubber-faced and goofy as Herman. I don’t think any other actor could play Herman and be as funny as Fred Gwynne. The Munsters is my favorite show this year.
TV has finally realized that there’s a new generation watching. Shindig is on on Wednesday nights at 8:30. It’s a live half hour show featuring all of the new rock n’ roll bands and they actually perform their hit songs instead of lip singing them. Every big group with a hit record is on the show, even the Beatles. The only rocker not on is Elvis, but he doesn’t seem as popular anymore. The Beatles are number one, and Diana Ross and the Supremes have a lot of hit records this year too. Elvis is taking a back seat to the British bands and the groups from Motown. I don’t watch Shindig too much ‘cause it’s on when the Beverly Hillbillies are, but I hear a lot of kids talking about it.
Carl is watching The Man From Uncle. It’s a spy show with a lot of gadgets and car chases. I guess it’s on because of that James Bond guy. I don’t like Robert Vaughn too much. I’d rather watch McHale’s Navy or Red Skelton.
There’s a lot of new shows on that I’m going to try. Twelve O’clock High, another World War II show about the B-17 bomber crews. I saw the movie with Gregory Peck, and I love watching war shows, so that will be on my schedule.
Donna Reed is still on, and so is My Three Sons, but they’ve pretty much worn out their welcome, and why oh why is Hazel still on? Can somebody tell me why that horrible show is still on?
Another show that catches my attention is a comedy show. It’s a lot of political satire and jokes about what’s going on today. It’s got that British guy David Frost on it. The show is called That Was The Week That Was, or TW3, and it’s pretty funny, but they keep pre-empting it for programs about the election, so most of the time I forget it’s on.
There is a show on that’s not very good, but I like it anyway. It’s the perfect show for young boys like me. The show is called My Living Doll, and it’s on Sunday night at 9:30. Robert Cummings is a guy who’s put in charge of an experimental robot. The thing is the robot is a beautiful woman, and she’s been programmed to do anything you tell her to do. The robot is played by Julie Newmar, one of the prettiest and sexiest women on TV at the time. I have to watch it every week just to look at Julie Newmar. Bob Cummings calls the robot Rhoda, and you operate Rhoda by pressing the freckles on her back! This show is the answer to every 12 and 13 year old boy with raging hormones dream. I know that every boy who watches this show is waiting for the day when Rhoda is told to take her clothes off. We know in our minds that this will never happen on TV, but we can dream, can’t we?
Who knows? Remember that Tarzan movie I saw? The one where Jane swims totally naked under water?
I saw that on TV now, didn’t I?